Fist of Zen - FAQ

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

preface:
This FAQ is based on the text "Fist Of Zen (review & analysis)" by CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler, which was originally began as an edit of an early version of the German Wikipedia article about the TV show. The entry was later deleted/ very mutilated by Wikipedia staff, because these squareheads considered it way too long and allegedly "unneutral". This FAQ is a strongly extended version and does not proclaim to be "encyclopedic", however it attempts to be objective in its descriptions so far this is possible. Due to the show is discussed very controversially, not everybody may agree with the criticism section. However I think that all important aspects are appropriately mentioned. This is an unofficial FAQ; the author is not affiliated in any way with MTV or the producers of the show.

( =CO= Windler )

(Wikipedia entry see: http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fist_of_Zen)

This FAQ is open source and published under the GNU Free Documentation License.

A German issue of this FAQ can be found here.


Fist of Zen - FAQ

(v1.00)

Fist Of Zen is a reality game show based on courage tests made by MTV. In it five friends at public places have to mutually torment each other, to prove their "manliness" in 10 tasks to the so-called Zen master. Passengers watch them during this.

It was modelled after the game "Silent Library" from the Japanese comedy show
Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!", which is successfully broadcast there since 1989. The "Zen master" is played by Peter Law

producers

The production companies of the 1st season are Monkey Kingdom Productions and Greenhouse ("an MTV International Production © MTV Networks Europe 2007. All Rights Reserved."). The special effects were made by Blue Post Production.

The end credits list the following info:

• Writer: Larry Rickard, Simon Dean
• Production Designer: Mike Fischetti
• Editor: Alex Hutchinson, Paul Hammacott
• MTV Executive Producer: Ilya Colak-Antic
• Director: Andrew Chaplin
• Producer: James Gordon
• Executive Producer: Will Macdonald
• Programme Consultant: Karl Warner
• Task Producer: Paul Evans
• Production Manager: Emily Senior
• Graphics: Alex Pickering
• Assistant Art Designers: Nina Ogden, Pawlo Wintonuik
• Online Editor: Kristina Theodorou
• Series Director: Simon George
• Series Producer: Tamsin Dodgson
• Archive: Oxford Scientific

In the "UK Screen Association News" were additionally mentioned:

• Post Producer: Will Garbutt
• Nitris Artist: Alex Pickering & Kristina Theodorou
• Audio: Kevin Boyle & Ben Ormerod

By appearance it obviously seems to be a low-budget production, which needs no expensive props and the like. Initially MTV massively advertised this show on their website and teletext. However it became well known mainly by viral marketing, because short clips of it are spread by fans on internet platforms like YouTube. Each episode takes only 23 minutes and follows a fixed schematic order of events. Each episode consists of 10 independent, very short, but partly shocking looking tasks (courage tests), which particularly eases viral distribution of the contents and supposingly was expected by design. Also the controversial discussion about the show furthers this method of distribution. (Obvious commercial intention is that also "viral" viewers shall be baited to make them finally watch the full show on TV or MTV Overdrive and consume the included ads.)

One season of 20 episodes was produced. The initial broadcast began in July 2007. MTV showed them on German TV until November 2008 in random order as an endless loop. Apparently a 2nd season is planned. (This FAQ describes season 1.)

design

The plot is clearly recognizable as a quite cynical parody on the famous kung-fu movie "The 36th Chamber of Shaolin", in which Buddhist monks gave a scholar a large number of tormenting and partly humiliating exercises to provide him to learn Shaolin kung-fu - a process in that in turns plenty of special, torture-like appliances were used. In the show, the score counter screens (colour reduced 2D pictures) between tasks and many sound effects were inspired by Asian videogames from early 1990th. Like in early videogames, the animations of the Zen master (atomic mushroom cloud etc.) in many episodes are identical and only have different text. The Zen master was filmed on a stage in front of a bluescreen with background pictures taken from scientific TV docus (Oxford Scientific archive). The picture was partly processed with a grainy Super 8 retro style.

game rules

Each show has a team of 5 "friends" (usually young mans between 20 and 30), those at the beginning are introduced as the so-called "Zen scholars" with their common origin and nicknames. During the show they have to prove their manliness by performing 10 so-called "rituals", those takes place at one public location (e.g. a library, a church, a retirement home or a museum). The candidates then appear there sitting around a table and the "Zen master" tells them in a movie clip the 1st task. Before each task (except the final challenge) all candidates have to draw a ball out of a round box on the table. There are 4 red and one black ball. The candidate who draws the black one has to perform the said "ritual" without talking or making loud noises. The tasks are often humiliating, partly inhuman, disgusting or painful courage tests, those are performed with the help of the other 4 candidates. For each successfully mastered exercise the group wins 100 pound into the "pot".

The torture-like rituals are partly bodily injuring or considered extremely disgusting. E.g. from the apparently blood and dirt crusted sock of a bum a dark decoction was brewed, that a candidate had to drink. Or the head of a candidate is inserted into the lower opening of a glass box ("5 Flavour Stink Box"), which is then filled from the top e.g. with poop soaked diapers, rotten meat, stinky socks, putrefied fish and rancid cheese to make him inhale the fumes. Fizzing salt is blown through 2 hoses into the nose while suppressing sneeze. Or spicy hot substances are rubbed into wounds, things chafe skin sore, someone is hugged while wearing a shirt full of stinging nettles, goggles on the eyes are filled inside with hashed onions, people have to taste or swallow awful or hot spiced things, have to handle electrically charged objects, get spanked and slapped in various ways etc. Once even 2 cactuses were shot onto a candidate's belly, those left a dozen of barbed pricks in his flesh. Some torture instruments are just absurd, like e.g. the "Scalextric Face Crash", in that Scalextric cars jump over a ramp into the face, or the "Pressurized Bottom Bottle Rocket", in that an air pump propelled water bottle rocket crashes from below through a special chair with toilet seat against the naked butt. Many of these appliances are constructed in a way that the exact trigger moment depends on random to increase the risk of screaming by the sudden shock. The name of each ritual is announced before its execution.

In the final test the group has to cooperage to solve a skill test together within 60 seconds. When they fail, they loose the entire money they had won before. The "1000 year old Zen master" watches them during the game through the "magical fountain of Ling Wee" and judges whether the candidates have solved the exam like "real mans". E.g. the candidates have to use chopsticks to place eggs into eggcups, or they have to pass on ping-pong balls to their next neighbour to place them into a vessel by sucking them with their mouth, they have to pass on lemons using spoons held in their mouths, or they have to wear each a hardhat with a funnel and swing their head to sling a ball on a thread at it into that funnel. During this examination the "Zen master" additionally pulls with twine string at the "serpents" (penises) of the candidates (hidden behind a bamboo curtain) to make the task more difficult. In 2 episodes participated a women, where the string was attached to her nipples instead. All objects within the final challenge have absurd Chinese names, containing attributes like "divine", "holy" or "magical".

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

As the host appears between rituals the "1000 year old Zen master" - a magical mighty fantasy being, who comments the behaviour of the candidates and describes the next task in a grainy film sequence like in a videogame. During this he proclaims completely meaning-devoided proverbs about "wisdom", "enlightenment", "higher dedications" and "spiritual harmony" (another idea from the "36th Chamber"), those partly in very cynical way turn messages of Buddhism into their opposite. Many realize this as blasphemy, because it mocks at the pursuit of every honest Buddhist.

a critical analysis

"Fist Of Zen" is discussed controversially in forums and by guardians of minors, because many people see in this show a violation of human dignity.

Also blaspheme tendencies are criticized. Certainly it must be the democratic right of all artists and authors to denounce in their works also negative sides of religions. As a movie figure the crazy "Zen master" would be well acceptable and perhaps even could make a quite funny parody. However "Fist Of Zen" constitutes a commercial show for superficial shock effects by genuine mutual torture of humans, which makes it rather far fetched to assume educational intentions behind its perversion of Buddhist messages in the name of "Zen".

(Regard: Genuine Buddhism intends to teach compassion, not blunting by violence and pain!)

Buddhists are usually considered peaceful and patient. However the monk riots in Burma show that they also can behave differently. When they once would decide to react on the mockery at their pursuit of compassion in a similar vigorous manner like Muslims after the Mohammed caricatures, it would certainly soon become quite unpleasant for the show makers. And that of all a Christian church seemingly permitted the show to take place in its rooms could result in serious diplomatic conflicts. However it belongs to the doctrine of Zen Buddhism to systematically immunize oneself against blaspheme utterances instead of fighting against them, because this prevents religious wars and though avoids further sufferance. But it appears particularly objectionable to commercially exploit of all this exemplarily peaceful quality of Zen, since it is certainly juristically calculated that particularly this religion does not tend to file blasphemy lawsuits.

In genuine Zen the ritualized repetition of unpleasant or boring tasks (e.g. cleaning) and partly also simulated rebuke and cussing (like with rap battles) serve the sole purpose of achieving equanimity to learn to bear the adversities of life. However some Japanese Zen monasteries indeed practise extreme forms of ritual chastening with authoritarian obedience exercises, cane spanking and continuous insultation in the manner of a boot camp, because Zen was also the religion of the Samurai. The boundaries between inurement, brainwash and sadism here are fluid.

So e.g. the Enryaku-Ji order in the Mount Hiei monastery near Kyoto practises the ascetic ritual of the marathon monks (called Gyogia or Gyoja), those for a promise of enlightening have to run for 7 years every night in every weathers up to 84km far on a fixed route among up to 255 pray and sacrification places and perform rituals to destroy their ego (NOT as a courage test to become machos!). In their white, dress-like robe they daily wear down 2 pairs of straw sandals. The ritual can never be cancelled, except by suicide, for which they always carry the rope with them. (That Buddha, who praised the "middle way" between asceticism and hedonism, would agree with such perversions of his doctrine is very doubtful.) So it would be understandable when someone whose childhood got ruined by such a monastery life thought out this cynical macho gameshow as a late revenge against the system of the monastery to process the trauma he went through.

To blasphemy it has to be added, that several episodes contain the discipline "Gimp Suit Burst", in which a latex suit on the body of a candidate is giantly inflated by a compressor and then burst with a pin. For people those practice latex mysticism is the sight of this act of violence a terribly unsettling sacrilege, because they apply inflatable trance suits of latex as a spiritual tool for meditation (it embodies perfect cosmic balance), and learn for realization of mystical unity with the Divine to unlimitedly entrust themselves of all to the energies of such suits to completely empathetically fuse with them. Also therapeutic users feel upset.

The entire construction of the show formally corresponds to a fascistoid brainwash cult. Elements like peer pressure (goal can only be reached together), systematic humiliation- and pain rituals, assignment of new names to the so-called "Zen scholars", ritualized praise of a leader (the "Zen master"), its formalized praise and rebuke and cussing against the scholars as well as his absurdly meaning-devoided proverbs about means for achievement of wisdom, enlightenment, honour and spiritual harmony are symptomatic. However the entire structure is here shown up in such a blatant way, that a real addiction risk for the candidates is unlikely. In the opposite, the show can (despite all inhumanity) even be used as an educational teaching model for the construction of such dictatorial cults, because it clearly shows up their principles like a didactic play.

Courage tests in many cultures take place as a transition rite for mans to "become adult", which in "Fist of Zen" obviously was attempted to imitate. Also the final challenge "Serpent Snatch", in which the Zen master symbolically pulls at the candidates penises with the "Harness of Keemosan", alludes to this. However such a show in its superficiality is barely suited to accompany such an initiation appropriately. Although this is definitely only the "toy version" of a humiliating cult, the psychological long term effects may despite cause damage. In genuine ritual societies initiations include costly pre- and post-care for the teenagers; however who looses in this show, has later only the pain and possible traumatization and has not become more "adult" at all. And who wins, gets pushed into a brutal macho worldview that really does not belong into a democracy. The brutalitary role model of the man behind it (quote: "Congratulation! You have solved the final challenge and received the higher dedications. You are now ready to go the way of the fist as a real man.") rather reminds to ideals of Adolf Hitler's Nazi doctrines (mans have to learn to bear pain and violence silently; who fails becomes scolded to be a "girl" etc.) and is barely compatible with a democratically educated civilization of equally righted genders.

Humiliating ritual violence is also known from entrance- and transition rites of students' fraternities, Freemason lodges, pirate and robber gangs, Satanism or the mafia, but these all are hierarchical power structures of a pre-democratic era, where such rituals were used to strengthen the cohesion inside a closed community to produce esprit de corps. Also in police and military such things still occasionally happen, but when it shows up in news as a torture scandal, the public mass media usually react indignant, call it violation of human dignity and request the consistent fight against such incidents. That such torture games in form of a meaning-devoided ersatz ritual now of all appear in a TV gameshow marketed as comedy is critical and raises questions. As we know, the sleep of reason bears monsters, and the sleep of nonviolence dominas. Does the vanish of genuine transition rites in the democratic world perhaps produce a similar need, that here in a very questionable way finds a substitute? Does it deal with self-realization or becoming famous? Is it possibly a kind of modern Passion play - or just sheer gloat?

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

It is surprising that such a bodily injuring courage test show could be legally produced in England at all, since officially even sado-masochism is illegal there due to assault is not considered consentable by the law of England.

As an extenuating circumstance at least it has to be mentioned, that the show in opposite to most genuine torturing suppression systems includes no dehumanization; all 5 participants stay equally righted and even have to help each other to win the game. There are not even contests against each other, which is extraordinary for gameshows. Actually it the whole thing a psychologically interesting construction, because it theoretically should prevent the participants from hurting each other too much. Because when one of them screams, they all get less money. But in practice it seemed to help little, because in spanking challenges many teams in spite of this spanked with so much impact that it left bleeding weals.

At least "Fist of Zen" has written TV history, although certainly no in a positive sense. In the spirit of the German literary critic Marcel Reich-Ranicki's request for more quality TV it could be said that with this show the culture of entertainment TV has hit a new deepest rock bottom. Generally however it is remarking for the 2000th decade, that torture became a main topic of entertainment media. Also in thrillers and horror movies its detailed depiction is ubiquitous. The wars after nine-eleven were the cause, Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib the effect, and torture gameshows are obviously part of that putrid plague odour that remained. We can only hope that it may go with the wind soon.

copycats & adolescent violence

Despite the warning at the begin of the show "the depicted scenes must not be imitated", "Fist of Zen" is nowadays imitated world wide by many adolescent people, because especially during puberty such a warning is perceived much rather seducing than deterring. One reason for this is likely also the cheap construction of the show, because many of its courage tests are imitateable with ordinary household items, and in opposite to professional stunt shows they are not really dangerous to life. Hundreds of such videos appeared e.g. on YouTube, in those the victims of such torture games are not always volunteers. There are many complaints that particularly this show is often used as a role model for school kid's violence.

Particularly questionable is, that at least in Germany "Fist Of Zen" was broadcast partly already at 12:00 in the morning among the children's program of MTV, despite it glorifies genuine brutal humiliation as a funny game (which is a completely different quality than the purely virtual brutality of horror movies or first-person shooters). Experts warn that such content makes children systematically unlearn compassion; relations to school mobbing and the making of mobile phone fight videos ("happy slapping") on schoolyards are obvious.

The depiction of genuine intentionally caused bodily injury for the arousal of gloat should therefore by treated by law in the same manner like p0rnographic violence. Ethically exists no difference between both. It is therefore recommended for the child-welfare to take appropriate measures. Puberty machismo causes already enough sufferance by its own and really should not be additionally supported by so-called entertainment shows. The similar courage test torture show "JackAss" e.g. got in Germany the legal rating "not suitable for minors" and thus can be only broadcast in the late night program. In the American torture show "Bumfights" were homeless persons abused for brutal courage test and fighting games, while they were suggested to be heroes. E.g. one got 50 US$ for pulling himself 2 front teeth with pliers in front of a camera. In USA the show later was banned. Generally it would be worth to think about, whether the organized support of bodily injuring courage tests (e.g. by cash prize contests, advertising or peer pressure) should be generally prosecuted by law, since it constitutes a systematic exploitation of stupidity, that ethically barely differs from the sale of body organs of living human beings.

- - "We can not protect ourselves from the evil by investigating only the evil in human beings, but rather by not permitting social conditions that allow or give permission for evil to assert itself." (torture researcher Philip Zimbardo)

irregularities

In "Fist of Zen" many irregularities can be seen, those hint that there possibly was cheated or at least that things were filmed in a different order or cut out later. E.g. in episode 4 already before the "Bulldog Clip Rip" there were marks of bulldog clips on the skin. Or in closeup views of the "Tongue Obstacle Course" there is in several episodes a white area instead of the vindaloo paste visible. Particularly in the final challenge after finish of the 60 seconds there appeared often more balls or lemons in the goal vessel than shortly before, without that one could see how they moved there. It is unknown whether they really cheated or if the tasks only took longer than the displayed minute. In episode 8 during the final challenge not a single ball of a candidate successfully reached his hardhat funnel (so all money was lost) - normally in this task always all balls did; either the team had not trained or the situation was manipulated for increase of gloat to show for a change also a team that looses. Sometimes it also sounded rather random whether minor pain screams were rated as a failure or not (e.g. during impact of the "Pressurized Bottom Bottle Rocket"); this varied depending on the episode. Further irregularities are listed in the episode guide.

According to reports of the candidate James-San from Episode 3 (guitarist of the rock band Canine Feline) there was neither cheating involved nor they got additional money for pain redemption. The filming of the episode however took with all preparations about 4h.

trivia

• The German trailer of season 1 shows scenes from episode 5; despite it ended with the slogan "Neu - auf MTV!" (New - on MTV!), it was broadcast unchanged for over 1 year to announce the show. The panflute at its beginning is an allusion to the theme "The Lonely Shepherd" from the movie Kill Bill - Volume 2, which martial arts master Pai Mai visually resembled the "Zen master". The English show version had different trailers (shown on YouTube) featuring Gareth Mason, who is taught and chastened in a karate suit by the Zen master there.
• The idea of the "lard icecream cone" obviously stems from the movie "My Favorite Martian" (USA 1998), in which a space alien thought that icecream would be "coloured buckets of frozen lard".
• A "1000 year old Zen master" from a small village near Kyoto would be impossible to exist not least because Zen was introduced in Japan only after the 12th century.
• The many proverbs about the "way of the fist" in connection with Zen are allusions to the Chinese Shaolin kung-fu, which indeed originated from Zen Buddhism. Zen was in Japan also the religion of the Samurai. Generally the show randomly mixes Japanese and Chinese elements.
• The "Harness Of Keemosan" for penis pulling was likely inspired by the penis-hanging art "Chiu Chiu Shen Gong" - an odd Asian kung-fu discipline, in which mans pull heavy weights with their penis and scrotum for alleged increase of virility and health. In a world record 20 Taiwan man even pulled a Boeing 747 by penis harnesses.

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

web links

• Fist Of Zen on MTV (needs a Flash enabled browser)
• Fist Of Zen in the Internet Movie Database
  
• Monkey Kingdom Production (production company of the show)
  
  Click on "Monkey Entertainment", then "productions" and then "Fist of Zen". (Direct links to other pages of this website don't work.) If you want to contact individual staff members to send comments or complaints, click on "people" and then on the small "print" icon in the bottom right corner of each page. In the opening popup window stands their e-mail address.
  
  
• Blue Post Productions (maker of the special effects)
  
• The Spiritual Athlete's Path to Enlightenment about the extreme Zen practice of Gyoja marathon monks.
  
• 20 Taiwan men to pull Boeing B747 plane With Their Cocks about a world record in the odd kung-fu discipline of penis-hanging art.
  
• Professor Philip Zimbardo
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Zimbardo
  http://zimbardo.socialpsychology.org
  http://www.lucifereffect.com
  
  This is the torture researcher who created the infamous Stanford Prison Experiment. He examines the general principles how hierarchical power structures like dictatorships and brainwash cults make people behave evil.

web links (German language)

• Fist Of Zen on German MTV
  
• NEON - Abschalten nicht vergessen German language criticism of the show
  
• IOFF: Stoppt die Knallkostüm-Nummer! article about trance suits and why their destruction traumatizes human beings.
  
• zen.de - Der Marathonmönch von Kyoto discussion about the insanity of extreme Zen practices.
  
• Der Marathonmönch von Kyoto summary about a TV docu about the marathon monks.

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[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

The following is a translation of excerpts of the original user comments of the "Fist Of Zen" discussion page from German Wikipedia. This text is open source and published under the GNU Free Documentation License.

Wikipedia comments:

design

The plot is clearly recognizable as a rather cynical parody on the famous kung-fu movie "The 36th Chamber of Shaolin", in which Zen monks gave a scholar a large number of tormenting and partly humiliating exercises for learning Shaolin kung-fu. The meaningless proverbs about "wisdom" (also likely stolen from there) are clearly blaspheme and mock at the struggle of every honest Buddhist. 213.102.97.240 05:18, 2. Okt. 2007 (CEST)

Buddhism is not about brutality, but about the learning of compassion!

To the topic of blasphemy it also has to be added, that in several episodes in the discipline "Gimp Suit Burst" ("Knallkostüm" in German) a latex suit on the body of a candidate is giantly inflated with a compressor and then burst with a tack. For latex mysticism adepts (those apply inflatable trance suits of latex as a spiritual tool for meditation) is the sight of massacring a trance suit a terribly unsettling sacrilege, because they learn to fully entrust themselves to the energies of their suit to empathetically completely fuse with its prana (lifeforce).

Se e.g.: http://latexmindresearch.tripod.com/

Gimp Suit Burst ?

• http://youtube.com/watch?v=wB_j5Fw710E
• http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...icle246378.ece
• (was http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2007320866,00.html)

Oh No, my heart is bleeding!!! To ravish something so tender, gentle and vulnerable like a bioenergetic harmony suit is just not a "courage" test, but an atrociously cowardice piece of barbarism!
Beside this, such suits are extremely expensive. Example:

• http://store.erosboutique.com/mm5/me...=mens_catsuits

(217.184.128.98 14:37, 2. Okt. 2007 (CEST),Nathan)

I once was in a self-realization group for stressed mothers, and they had there beside much other stuff also these white inflatable meditation suits of very soft rubber. First I found it strange, but when I tried one out , it overwhelmed me there inside such an intense feeling of security, that I really had not expected. Unfortunately already after 7 days the course was over, and I had to give it back. But this really had done me good. I don't know if this was by oxytocine (the group leader told something about), but when I 1 year later (due to a parent-teacher conference discussions) watched "Fist Of Zen", where as the "Gimp Suit Burst" such a suit was destroyed, I felt really sick. I was totally upset and have cried for hours. So this with the suits really seems to be true. (Tina, 217.184.128.125 16:58, 3. Okt. 2007 (CEST))

Beside this, at least one episode of the show took place inside a church, which for such an unholy, intentionally sufferance causing act just is really no appropriate location.

Who protects the minors?

The contents of this courage test torture show clearly violates the dignity of man, and it would be logical when the child-wellfare would X-rate it or at least allow it only for 16 and up. At least is this perfidious show a good deterring example to show up the simple scheme, by that many dictatorial brainwash cults function. 213.102.97.240 05:18, 2. Okt. 2007 (CEST)

The following paragraph should urgently stay present in the article, because it explains the basical structure of the show (that was possibly intentionally designed as a parody on such cults):

The entire construction of the show is very similar to a fascistoid brainwash cult. Elements like peer pressure (goal can only be reached together), systematic humiliation- and pain rituals, ritualized praise of a leader (the "Zen master"), its formalized praise and rebuke of the scholars as well as his absurdly meaning-devoided proverbs about means for achieval of wisdom, enlightenment and perfection are absolutely symptomatic. However the entire structure is here shown up in such a blatant way, that a real addiction risk for the candidates is unlikely. In the opposite, the show can (despite all inhumanity) be used as an educational teaching model for the construction of such dictatorial cults, because it clearly shows up their principles like a didactic play.

Although I would more or less subscribe this immediately, it is not really compatible with the rule of neutrality for Wikipedia articles. I therefore have removed both paragraphs from the article.
--Discordiamus 04:13, 3. Okt. 2007 (CEST)

This is not unneutral, but simply a fact. Just watch an episode completely (e.g. on MTV Overdrive, so far DSL is present). Everybody who only has a minimal knowledge about dictatorial cults, will immediately recognize this. And there is much criticism against the show, that also should be shown in the article. Wikipedia is not an advertisement platform of MTV. 213.102.106.5 05:58, 3. Okt. 2007 (CEST)

"those are quite sarcastically kidding Buddhism" - can this be made a bit more encyclopedic? --Discordiamus 04:28, 3. Okt. 2007 (CEST)

I have the "kidding" now formulated more elegantly. Sorry if my words were a little hot-tempered (like the pepper blower goggles from the show ;] ), but myself got traumatized by the sight of certain details of the show, because as a modern Buddhist (i.e. compassion instead of brutality) I realized certain structures and violent deeds in this show first as inconceivably horrible. I thus have confronted myself awarely with the show to understand what really happens and what the meaning (or its absence) of the whole shall be. Definitely do many things in it terrify any not yet cynically blunted human being to the deepest. Therefore I want to help to understand what the thing is really made of. 213.102.106.5 06:18, 3. Okt. 2007 (CEST)

School fight videos - this comes from that...

On the parent-teacher conference we had discussed about fight videos on mobile phones of pupils. But half of the time then everybody talked only about "Fist Of Zen". Therefore I have watched several episodes after that, and was shocked that such a funnyfication of genuine humiliating violence was on German TV indeed allowed to be shown already at 12:00 in the morning. It is no surprise when our children take such things as a model for filmed schoolyard torment and select the weakest pupils as their mobbing victims. Everywhere you can read about suicides by school mobbing. Kids need compassion, and here they unlearn this thoroughly!

The very similar torture show "JackAss" e.g. was restricted by law to be broadcast only tonight. Although it is questionable whether protection of minors by airtime really makes much sense, parents at least should be enabled to know what children may watch on TV; when such a torture show like "Fist Of Zen" already runs among children's broadcast in the morning while we are at work or sweat in the kitchen, parents get no chance at all anymore to control what children can watch. Deleting MTV out of the TV set can't be their desired solution - can it? And even listed airtimes are often wrong, which makes TV timers quite useless. Such stuff belongs at best into the night program, but nowhere else. (Tina, 217.184.128.125 17:01, 3. Okt. 2007 (CEST))

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[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

the most malicious tasks

Cactus Cannon

2 round cactuses of about 6cm diameter were fired by slingshot through an acryl pipe at the belly of a candidate and left in his flesh a dozen of pricks. Because these have barbs, complete removal is certainly difficult; there is the risk of infection and permanent scars.

Flipper Spank

A candidate was spanked multiple times with plastic swim fins those have protruding hard rims. The result were bruises and partly bleeding wounds.

Two Door Thigh Whack

A thin pressboard (about 50*30cm) with hinge at the side is mounted in a wooden rack. At its open end pulls a stretched thick rubber rope. The board is pulled back and then vigorously slammed 2 times against the rear side of the naked thigh of a candidate. Once (episode 19) the board even cracked in halves.

Bulldog Clip Rip

Metal bull dog clips are clipped on a candidates skin and then torn off with a strong jerk. The result were bruises and partly bleeding wounds.

Sandpaper Bicycle

A candidate had to ride a kind of exercise bike, which spun a wheel with many sandpaper coated fly swatters those rapidly whipped his back. The result were bleeding wounds.

Hug Nettle Shirt

A candidate had to wear a shirt covered inside with stinging nettles. Then he was embraced multiple times by the others.

Sandpaper Towel Rub

A candidate was sprayed wet and then chafed wound with a sandpaper coated towel by the others.

Cuts And A Dunk

The hand of a candidate is cut between the fingers with a sharp paper sheet and then dipped into an acrid mixture of lemon juice, vinegar, salt and aftershave. Chemically interesting would be whether the large quantity of salt was possibly calculated so that it exactly neutralizes the acid of the vinegar and lemon juice and so eliminates their painful effects.

Toothpick Bookshelf Stack

A thin shelf board resting on toothpicks at the sides was placed 20 to 40cm above a candidate's head and than loaded with more and more books until the toothpicks suddenly break and the board crashes down on his head. As the result a minor concussion can be expected.

Bread Loaf Catapult

Large white bread loafs of supposingly 1kg weight were fired with a giant slingshot multiple times at neck, chest or face of a candidate. Although the breads were soft,
head hits may result in minor concussions.

Giant Rubber Band Face Twang

A broad black rubber band was stretched and held by twine strings those were burnt through to make it suddenly slam into a candidates face, where it left weals. Although the mass of the band is low, there may be a risk of brain damage.

Slap Fish Face

A candidate was slapped into the face multiple times with dead fish. Depending on the impact there is the risk of brain damage.

5 Flavour Stink Box

The head of a candidate was inserted into the lower opening of an acryl box, which then through an upper hatch was filled with things like poop soaked diapers, rotten meat, stinky socks, putrid fish and rancid cheese to make him inhale the fumes. There is the risk of infection.

The strange greenish rotten eggs were apparently "1000 year old eggs", those are fermented for 3 months as a Chinese food and have a pungent smell of ammonia, sulphur and vinegar.

Spicy Helmet Head Tank

A candidate has to wear a large spherical transparent plastic helmet, which is connected through an air hose with a hair dryer. A large quantity of hot spice powder (chilly and black pepper) is poured into the rear end of the running hair dryer to blow it into the helmet. Although the candidate wears swim goggles for eye protection, there is the risk of chemical burn of mucous membranes and allergic shock. (Pepper substances release histamine and work particularly allergy causing when the body is not pre-warned by contact with mucous membranes of the mouth.) The contact of the dry powder with the glowing heater wire or motor brush contacts in the hair dryer might even cause a severely dangerous dust explosion.

Onion Glasses

A protective plastic goggle on the eyes of a candidate is filled from inside with hashed onions. Possibly there is the risk of chemical eye burn or allergic shock.

Tramp Brew

From a seemingly blood and dirt crusted sock of a bum a dark decoction was brewed, that a candidate had to drink. There is the risk of infection so far it was no artificially produced prop. (According to candidate James the sock contained coffee beans for the brown colour. Whether there was additionally something else in it is unknown.)

Tongue Obstacle Course

On a sort of model train board with a road model are placed puddles of multiple (between 6 and 7?) spicy hot or disgusting substances, those the candidate has to lick one after the other. The substances vary with episodes; they employed vindaloo paste, talc powder, garlic puree, hot pepper sauce, dog food, sandy fish sauce and cigarette ash with buds in it. (Cigarette buds can be deadly poisonous when swallowed, which here didn't happen. Talc powder inside the body can start allergies because the body can not decay it.)

Salty Nose Blow

Each about 2cm² of fizzing salts (bath salt) was blown through 2 hoses into a candidate's nose while suppressing sneeze. There is the risk of chemical burn of mucous membranes with destruction of smell sense or allergic shock. In the similar task "2 Can Nose Lager" foaming lager beer was poured into the hose.

Party Popper Face

In episode ?1 and ?2 the candidate wore swim goggles but no protective ear plugs. The launch of fire crackers from only about 30cm distance thus may lead to ear damage.

Gimp Suit Burst

In this unsettling show act a meditation suit of latex on the candidate's body was giantly inflated with compressed air and then burst with a pin board pin in has hand, while the other candidates stood giggling and foolishly gesticulating next to him. Although the bodily injuring effect on the wearer was rather low, this sight is severely disturbing for all people those entrust themselves to trance suits in meditation as a spiritual or psychotherapeutic tool. There were many protests and open questions arose after several viewers became traumatized by the sight of its destruction. Much sufferance was caused. So I explain here a bit more detailedly what happened in the show.

In total 6 black and 2 red full body latex suits had to senselessly loose their life for it.

black suits: episode 9, 11, 14, 17, 19, dress rehearsal
red suits: episode ?1, ?2 (may be 16, 20)

During inflation the trunk of the suits expanded approximately spherical like a weather balloon, while a section of the legs partly inverted. The red suit in episode ?2 inflated largest, it reached almost completely down to the feet (about 160cm diameter) and even became a little rectangular under the right lifted arm. Of the black suits the one of episode 9 stretched largest. All suits were stabbed to death when the countdown ended - none burst spontaneously.

The inflation took 45s; in episode 14 it were even 60s, however this suit was only inflated slower and not larger. The dress rehearsal "ZOO does Fist Of Zen" with Lup Fun Yau as the candidate was initially shown by the ZooWeekly magazine on YouTube, but ZooWeekly was apparently banned from YouTube. Currently online is only a shorted version "Lup... The Exploding Gimp" by the Sun newspaper.

Beside that, the name "Gimp Suit Burst" is misleading, because a "gimp suit" is normally not of latex, but means as a derogatory term usually a mostly black full body suit of leather or other very tear resistant material (often reinforced by straps and barely stretchable), which is used in a domina studio for bondage, and for this includes integrated metal rings, belts, buckles and laces to e.g. engage ropes to lift and hang the customer under the ceiling. Although latex suits are also sold in shops for domina supply, the word "gimp suit" for them is inappropriate. However it might be that the equipment crew discovered the suits in such a store when they bought the bulldog clips and searched for new torture instruments - and by ignorance they so made a disastrous decision.

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

It is unknown which brand of latex suits was destroyed here. Due to most types cost each many 100EUR but the show is ultra low cost, a cheap serial product can be expected. Closeup views of the armpits reveal that it seems to be a model of seamlessly dipped latex, because the only visible glue seam is vertically at the front across the chest, where apparently for increase of stretchability the zip was removed and then the rims were glued together overleaping (likely with rubber cement). The entry apparently was done through the stretched neck opening, for which plenty of white powder was applied (likely talc, which after burst left a dust cloud and white residues on the candidate's underpants). Because unlike classic trance suits these are not built as double skin inflatables, each suit was in the simplest manner glued with black adhesive tape to arms, legs and neck of the candidate to seal it. Especially the neck opening was reinforced with a large area of of the tape (about 35*35cm), because here was apparently the weak spot of the construction (it loosened for a short time in episode 17 and partly 19). Possibly it loosened due to silicone oil on the latex; at least in episode 17 the suit was quite shiny. For inflation a black plastic funnel was ducttaped to the suit butt, at which backward pointing tip the compressed air hose was connected. It likely lead to a quite large red "Clarke rebel" construction site compressor (which was visible in the dress rehearsal "ZOO does Fist Of Zen" on YouTube). Unlike the rest of the suit, the lower legs did not expand at all, and at the transition to the expanding section a sharp boundary was visible. Apparently there a layer of transparent foil (cling wrap?, or adhesive film?) was wound around to prevent loosening of the sealing adhesive tape at the leg ends when the legs partly inverted. Strange is why this awkward construction was chosen at all, since the only known suits of dipped latex (manufacturer Shiny Skin, retail price 99EUR and up) come already in the cheapest commercially available version with integrated airtight socks. (It is unknown whether these were cut off during preparation by accident or for using them elsewhere or if an even cheaper version without exists.)

The mortal remains of some black suits apparently were reused as rubber bands for the "Bare Chest Braces Snap" and "Giant Rubber Band Face Twang".

In episodes with as well "Gimp Suit Burst" as "Tongue Obstacle Course" (except episode ?1) the candidates during the latter also had to lick at a pile of talc powder.

Worth to mention is, that also the original predecessor "Silent Library" from the show "Downtown no Gaki no Tsukai ya Arahende!!" featured shiny black rubber suits. However these were not destroyed but used to dress up the punishers those there spank candidates. Imaginable is that also the suits in "Fist of Zen" were originally ordered for this purpose to imitate "Silent Library" exactly.

the "Harness of Keemosan"

In the final test of each episode the candidates have to don the "Harness of Keemosan", that was attached to the penises (with women to their breasts). It was pulled with a twine string at it while the group had to solve skill test together. (If it fails, they loose the cash prize.) If people find this bad is a matter of squareness, however many people muse what this mysterious harness looked like. According to candidate James from episode 3 (so far I understand him correctly) it was simply a loop of string and some (adhesive?) tape. In the TV show it looks like when the Zen master pulls at the strings through his "magical fountain of Ling Wee". Genuinely 5 helpers were sitting in the room (1 per candidate) to pull them.

___________

film locations

The film locations of the show (1st season) are not mentioned in the end credits. They are all in England (writings, building styles) and supposingly all in the environment of London.

the church:

It is the chapel "All Saints Friern Barnet" in the London borough of Barnet, which is not used as a church anymore. Since 1980th it is used as a venue for activities like theatre, concerts or even wrestling. The facade of the chapel is made of grey rubble masonry. It has a transept, relatively small windows, a pointed belfry and looks very ancient.

c/o All Saints Arts Centre,
122 Oakleigh Rd North,
London N20 9EZ.
http://www.barnetarts.org.uk

the museum:

It is the Bromley Museum in the London borough of Orpington, which is housed in the historical monastery building (Priory from 1290). The Facade consists of grey rubble masonry. The architecture is gothic with vaulted ceilings. The floor tiles form a large chessboard pattern.

The Priory,
Church Hill,
Orpington, Kent BR6 0HH
http://www.bromley.gov.uk

the retirement home:

There is outside a sign "Orchard Lea - Car park for Orchard Lea ... and visitors only". It is the "Ramsay Orchard Lea retirement village", an old people's home with multiple houses in Sawbridgeworth, Hertfordshire. The room is the reception, which can be watched as a virtual 360° view on their website. (Click on "View the homes"; the rear view from the "Lounge" shows near the ceiling even the strange wide wood window in the room.)

Ramsay Orchard Lea
High Wych Road
Sawbridgeworth CM21 OAB
http://www.ramsayorchardlea.co.uk

the library:

It is the "Morden Library" in the civic centre of the London borough of Merton. The Civic Centre is a large multi-purpose concrete building from 1962. Above the entrance (episode 7) stands "Welcome to LONDON BOROUGH OF MERTON - CIVIC CENTRE".

Morden Library, Merton Civic Centre,
London Road,
Morden, SM4 5DX.
http://www.merton.gov.uk/learning/li...ries/molib.htm

In the "Newsletter of the Society of Chief Librarians for England, Wales and Northern Ireland" (SCL News Autumn 07.doc) stands, that here the pilot episode was filmed.

quote: "MTV at Morden Library - Morden Library has been selected as the ideal location for a new pilot program to be aired later this year on MTV. On 19 April MTV shot the pilot episode of a new comedy game show called "Fist of Zen", which requires the contestants to complete rituals in utter silence. It was an exciting and enjoyable day for the public who were intrigued and entertained in an unusual way whilst browsing for books!

The pilot show has been a success and MTV have returned to shoot further episodes."

the art gallery:

In the intro you can see an old industrial building of red bricks. Above the entrance (door in a glass brick wall) is a yellow sign with dark letters beginning with "BEYON". However it is not the gallery, but a huge shopping center for second hand clothing of the name "BEYOND RETRO" in the Cheshire Street of London. I was told by e-mail that the intro scene with the graffiti shows the corner Grimsby Street E1 and another scene shows the Brick Lane/Shoreditch - a very trendy part of London.

The gallery itself is unidentified. The room has a strange irregular wood floor with repaired areas (a rectangular wood board was inserted ahead to the left), white walls and at the front 2 old iron rung windows with semicircular top arch. The right front door has an illuminated "Fire Exit" sign above. Near it hangs a fuse box with visible electric lines. In the right window stands a glass picture with a dark circle in a dark wood frame (like of a gong). In front of the front wall stand 3 dark objects. The left one may be an upright loudspeaker box. The middle one may be a showcase of dark brown wood on a leg of prim wood; it has a glass pane on top. White doors are to the front at the left and right wall. To the left is a large pop-art painting in graffiti style (mainly black, white, yellow, red). There is a row of pictures of wavy distorted city motives (skyscrapers, tower of Pisa etc. - like skyline reflections in the water). In a showcase to the right lies a pink imitation of a cut off hand (cut surface is white) among colourful small balls (candies?, partly bitten off?). In another showcase is a white cube with blue vertical line in the center of each side. To the front of the right wall hang 2 pink paintings (nude in water-colour?) and one with a yellow object (rose blossom?, fried egg?, a rock with a black tree growing through??) on a black background (possibly with dark tree branches). Further back hangs a neon text of several capital letters in different colours (blue T, red A, yellow N, ...?). In front of the room sat a red haired elderly guardswomen; she had on her jacket a sign with text in handwritten letters those may form the gallery name ("Allegro"?, "Bellege"?, or just "Gallery"?); below were several unreadable small words.

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

not plausible in London are
- Alma Enterprises (too modern concrete block)
- Barbican The Curve (too modern renovated rooms)
- Between Bridges (grey floor, wrong windows)
- Belford Craft Gallery (wrong windows)
- David Risley Gallery (concrete floor)
- Flaca (grey concrete or PVC floor)
- Hauser & Wirth London (brown windows)
- Herald St (concrete floor)
- IBID Projects (too modern, concrete floor)
- Maureen Paley (too modern, concrete floor)
- Parasol Unit (too modern)
- Rich Mix Center (industrial building, too modern renovated rooms, wrong windows?)
- Seven Seven (apparently concrete block)
- Somerset House - Embankment Galleries (in castle =>unlikely)
- Southbank Centre: The Hayward (modern concrete block)
- Tate Modern (old industrial building, too modern renovated rooms)
- The Brick Lane Gallery (only 2 large rooms, wrong layout)
- Transition Gallery (concrete floor)
- Victoria Miro 14 (too modern renovated, mostly concrete floor)
- White Cube, Hoxton Square (wrong windows)
- Whitechapel (wrong windows, only large halls?)
- The Approach (extremely similar floors, but layout and windows don't match)

plausible are
- The Old Trueman Brewery (old industrial building)
- The Wapping Project (old industrial building, barely renovated)

___________

candidates

Like in a cult all candidates in the show got religious names, consisting of a short name followed by "San" and a slightly longer, usually joking alias title. Thus identification is difficult so far they don't out themselves or got outed on the internet. The enshrouding names likely also serve the purpose of avoiding embarrassment, however since the faces remain uncovered, it can not really be called an anonymization (especially due to picture search engines like "Riya" will make progress).

According to the report of one candidate* beside the possible cash prize no additional (pain redemption) money was paid. But at least the candidates were treated well, got a meal and their travel cost paid and were informed about everything correctly. There was no cheating. But they did not see the Zen master during the filming and did not even know that it would appear later. The filming of an episode took in reality about 4h. This candidate did not regret his participation. He told me that he and his group of friends even had much fun, because they also privately play similar pranks with each other. They apparently realized it as a harmless fun. The participants were recruited through ads on the website www.starnow.com.

*) Thanks to guitarist James of the rock band Canine Feline; he participated in episode 3 as "James-San".
http://www.myspace.com/caninefeline

___________

Fist of Zen - episode guide

Season 1

The here used numbering and original summary ("MTV description") of the episodes stems from the English MTV Overdrive website. Due to it lacks 2 episodes (16 and 20), they are here listed as "?1" and "?2" because it is unknown which is which one. However this numbering does not correspond to the original filming order, because some episodes with higher numbers apparently show older versions of the employed torture instruments (e.g. the onion glasses with big funnels) than those with lower numbers. Also the announcer of the German language version was apparently replaced several times, because the pronunciation in apparently older episodes sounds boring or overly theatric.

However episodes can be identified fastest using the origins of the teams, because in opposite to the numbers they are announced at the beginning of each show.

numbering

The German numbering appeared only initially sometimes in the airtime of the old MTV.de website and teletext. It was very confusing and not visible in the broadcast itself. It was impossible to know which episode was really shown, so plenty of it may be wrong. E.g. in 2007-11-17 the German episode 20 was announced, but it came 17.

English vs German:

1 = 3
4 = 13
5 = 15
6 = 17
7 = 1
9 = 16
10 = 9
13 = 18
14 = 7
18 = 19
19 = 19 ?
?1 = 8
?2 = 10

Also the Canadian version has apparently this numbering. On MTV.ca are still images of 20 episode numbers visible, those have strong similarities with the German numbering. There are many typos in that episode description and at the Canadian episode 12 stands "library" despite the only matching episode (English 19) took place in the museum.

English vs. Canadian:

1 = 3
2 = 2
3 = 6
4 = 13
5 = 15
6 = 17
7 = 1
8 = 5
9 = 16
10 = 9
11 = 20
12 = 4
13 = 18
14 = 7
15 = 11
17 = 14
18 = 19
19 = 12
?1 = 8
?2 = 10

These apparently correspond more to the actual filming order, because episodes with here lower numbers have unprofessional German language lip sync and the clumsy onion glasses with large funnels this way correspond to episode 1 (likely the pilot episode). Also episodes with following numbers this way would take place mostly at the same location (2x library, 6x church, 2x library, 4x museum, 2x art gallery, 4x retirement home). So the following filming order can be approximately concluded.

filming order vs. English:

1 = 7 Kingdom of Cambridge
2 = 2 City of London
3 = 1 Kingdom of Middlesex
4 = 12 Queendom of Brighton
5 = 8 Kingdom of Kent
6 = 3 Kingdom of Norfolk
7 = 14 Distant region of Kent
8 = ?1 Principality of Norfolk
9 = 10 Realm of Kingston
10 = ?2 Fiefdom of Kidderminster
11 = 15 Far away land of Surrey
12 = 19 Kingdom of Nuneaton
13 = 4 Kingdom of Portsmouth
14 = 17 Kingdom of Derbyshire
15 = 5 Principality of Hertfordshire
16 = 9 Kingdom of Hertfordshire
17 = 6 Kingdom of Essex
18 = 13 Kingdom of Lincolnshire
19 = 18 Kingdom of London
20 = 11 Kingdom of Peterborough

The show features many absurd words of the Zen master and narrator, those usually intend humiliation of the candidates. Most of them are primitive gross comedy or banal machismo dealing with potency, genitals and excrement or scold male candidates as little girls or sissies. Others are meaning-devoided and often cynically twisted Buddhist statements. The following list only contains some extraordinary sayings of the Zen master in English language. (I have only access to the German language version, where the narrator speaks German. Its Zen master remained English with only German subtitles.)


episode 1

MTV description:
Four Balloon Burst Pants | Lard Ice Cream Cone | Thirty Rubber Band Face Twang | Sixty Second Electric Star Draw | Thirty Second Burp Breath | Ba

The Fist of Zen has been sent to seperate the weak from the strong, the wheat from the chaff, the prawn balls from the beef dumplings..

location:
church

origin:
Kingdom of Middlesex

team:
- Adam-San alias Lady Killer
- Jack-San alias Boy Band
- Kevin-San alias The Twig
- Smithy-San alias Size of a Boy
- AJ-San alias Size of a Bear

tasks:
- 4 Balloon Burst Pants
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- 60s Electric Star Draw (star on large glass pane)
- 30s Burp Breath
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 10 Scalextric Face Crash (red cars)
- 30s Salty Nose Blow
- 4 Hug Nettle Shirt
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch

extremely nasty:
Salty Nose Blow (with "fizzing salts" = bath salt), 4 Hug Nettle Shirt

words of the Zen master:
"A wise man once said something. I didn't listen - I didn't need too!"

note:
Candidate AJ-San is tall and black.


episode 2

MTV description:
Sixty Second Three Onion Chew | Thirty Rubber Band Face Twang | Twenty One Fish Slap Salute | Winds Of Pain | Four Flipper Spank | Tongue Obstacle Course | Balloon Collar | Four Hug

Watch the Zen master train another batch of weary westerners with some hilariously painful stunts.

location:
library

origin:
City of London (north)

team:
- Rami-San alias Teen Wolf
- Jon-San alias Ginger Spice
- Dan-San alias Heart of Darkness
- Ian-San alias Sex Pest
- Mark-San alias The Ferret

tasks:
- 60s Three Onion Chew
- Fat Man Sandwich (sumo squeezers)
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- 21 Fish Slap Salute (with machine)
- Winds Of Pain (= Spicy Helmet Head Tank)
- 4 Flipper Spank
- Tongue Obstacle Course

- Balloon Collar
- 4 Hug Nettle Shirt
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch

extremely nasty:
4 Flipper Spank, Nettle Shirt, Winds Of Pain

substances:
Winds Of Pain = {chilli powder & black pepper}

words of the Zen master:
"Well done... Your gentleman snakes were weak like worms... Now they are strong like cobras."

note:
German narrator voice sounds different and unprofessionally read from a sheet. Candidate Mark-San wears a Hulk T-shirt.

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

episode 3

MTV description:
Six Scalextric Face Crash | Tongue Obstacle Course | Thirty Second Rolling Plug Bed | Thirty Second Electric Tea Set | Eight Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss | Eight Slap Fish Face | Four Cuts And A Dunk | Th

Here's a third helping of more hillarious, cringe-worthey Zen action. Get involved.

location:
church

origin:
Kingdom of Norfolk

team:
- James-San alias Pork Chop
- Nicy-San alias Wet Wipe
- Michael-San alias Fun Bags
- Luke-San alias The Fiddler
- Gavin-San alias Die Hard 2

tasks:
- 6 Scalextric Face Crash
- Tongue Obstacle Course
- 30s Rolling Plug Bed
- 30s Electric Tea Set
- 8 Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss
- 8 Slap Fish Face
- 4 Cuts And A Dunk
- 30s Tramp Brew (made from sock)
- 45s Burp Breath
- Serpent Snatch - eggs juggling (with chopsticks into eggcups)

extremely nasty:
Tramp Brew, 4 Cuts And A Dunk

note:
The plugs on the Plug Bed are American. The candidate was wrapped into kitchen foil and rolled over it. Instead of 30s it ended already after 23s (once forward and back). During the "Tongue Obstacle Course" initially there was a white area (talc powder?) visible instead of the vindaloo paste; likely the closeup picture was cut in from an unfinished board. Participant "Michael-San" had sore arms (particularly visible during the final challenge, cause is unknown).


episode 4

MTV description:
Two Sandbag Bulldog Clip Rip | Three Chilli Chew | Balloon Collar | Toothpick Bookcase Stack | Giant Ru

Here's another dose of the Zen Master's guide to wisdom and spiritual harmony, including bare bottom flipper spanks, giant rubber face twangs and lot's more Fist of Zen madness.

location:
museum

origin:
Kingdom of Portsmouth

team:
Louis-San alias Delia Smith
Calvin-San alias Dough Boy
Ricky-San alias Flower Child
Ben-San alias The Wall
Adam-San alias Sleeps With Fishes

tasks:
- 2 Sandbag Bulldog Clip Rip
- 3 Chilli Chew
- Balloon Collar
- Toothpick Bookcase Stack
- Giant Rubber Band Face Twang
- 4 Flipper Spank
- 60s Electric Star Draw (on small glass pane)
- 30s Sandpaper Bicycle
- 30s Lego Wrestle
- Serpent Snatch - lemon chain

extremely nasty:
Flipper Spank, Sandpaper Bicycle

brain damaging:
Toothpick Bookcase Stack

words of the Zen master:
(after "Bulldog Clip Rip"): "I once did this with actual bulldog attached to my body. I was trying to impress a Zen mistress at that time. Woof!"

note:
The German narrator was possibly changed. Before "Bulldog Clip Rip" there were already marks on the body. The Sandpaper Bicycle left bloody weals. When after Lego Wrestle the wrestler left the museum, 2 school kids (about 10 years old?) came into the door and watched. During the final challenge only 1 lemon reached the goal bowl, but after the team had won this way, suddenly the bowl contained 2.


episode 5

MTV description:
Eight Slap Fish Face | Thirty Second Rancid Milk Syringe | Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck | Toothpick Bookshelf Stack | Thirty Second Electric Tea-Set | Pressurised Bottle Bottom Rocket | Fou

The Zen master returns with some more hillarious silnet stunts to be performed in public. Enjoy!

location:
art gallery

origin:
Principality of Hertfordshire

team:
- Luke-San alias Shandy-Boy
- Vinny-San alias Super Size Me
- Dan-San alias Shag-A-Delic
- Chris-San alias Prawn Balls
- Scotty-San alias Tanga Briefs

tasks:
- 8 Slap Fish Face
- 30s Rancid Milk Syringe
- Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck
- Toothpick Bookshelf Stack
- 30s Electric Tea-Set
- Pressurized Bottle Bottom Rocket
- 4 Elbow Carpet Burn
- 4 Balloon Burst Pants
- 2 Leg-Wax Winch (duct tape depilation)
- Serpent Snatch - lemon chain

brain damaging:
Toothpick Bookshelf Stack


episode 6

MTV description:
Twelve Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss | Three Chilli Chew | Giant Rubber Band Face Twang | Pressurised B

The weary zen students keep coming back so the Zen Master keeps dishing out the stunts. So for more silently performed acts of physical and emotional degredation here's the Fist of Zen.

location:
retirement home

origin:
Kingdom of Essex

team:
- Lee-San alias Lager Top
- Chris-San alias Two Tone
- Jamie-San alias Wind Up
- Luke-San alias Fire Starter
- Nick-San alias Fatty

tasks:
- 12 Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss
- 3 Three Chilli Chew (green, round)
- Giant Rubber Band Face Twang (made forehead weals)
- Pressurized Bottle Bottom Rocket
- 8 Slap Fish Face
- Electric Teapot
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch
- 3x Bread Loaf Catapult (into face)
- Bulldog Clip Rip
- Serpent Snatch - ducks fishing

brain damaging:
Bread Loaf Catapult

note:
German version possibly had a different narrator with theatric voice.


episode 7

MTV description:
Thirty Second Onion Glasses | Balloon Collar | Five Flavour Stink Box | Electrically Chargred Baby | Ten Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss | Four Flipper Spank | Fat man

Onion glasses, flipper spanking and a five flavour stink box... Looks like another round of hillarious Fist of Zen antics.

location:
library

origin:
Kingdom of Cambridge

team:
- George-San alias Boy-Band
- Tristan-San alias Hairbrush
- Owen-San alias Altar-Boy
- Kenny-San alias Late-Night-Lover
- Jacko-San alias The Stick

tasks:
- 30s Onion Glasses
- Balloon Collar
- 5 Flavour Stink Box
- Electrically Charged Baby
- 10 Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss
- 4 Flipper Spank ( =>weals)
- Fat Man Sweaty Thump (thump sucking)
- 30s Nose Lager
- 3 Cuts And A Dunk
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch

extremely nasty:
5 Flavour Stink Box, Flipper Spank, Nose Lager (beer into nose), 3 Cuts And A Dunk

substances:
Stink Box = {stinky socks, smelly fish, dirty nappy, rancid cheese, rotten eggs}
3 Cuts And A Dunk = {aftershave, lemon juice, vinegar, salt}

note:
German narrator had different voice (boring). The onion glasses had big funnels and also the other players wore goggles. Candidate Jacko-San possibly did Gimp Suit Burst in episode ?1 or 14.


episode 8

MTV description:
Sixty Second Electric Star Draw | Full Plate Wasabi Crackers | Spicy Helmet Head Tank | Bare

Take one group of weary young westerners, one wise old zen master, 10 of the wildest stunts you've ever seen and have them performed silently in publc and what you have is the Fist of Zen.

location:
church

origin:
Kingdom of Kent

team:
- Scott-San alias Housewives Choice
- Keith-San alias Dragon Master
- Barry-San alias Asbo Hero
- Brian-San alias The Weasel
- Robert-San alias Kingsize Pastie

tasks:
- 60s Electric Star Draw (small glass pane)
- Full Plate Wasabi Crackers
- Spicy Helmet Head Tank
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 45s No Spew Beard Pasta (eat noodles out of bum beard)
- 9 Party Popper Face
- 2 Can Nose Lager (beer into nose)
- 30s Onion Glasses
- Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch

extremely nasty:
2 Can Nose Lager, Spicy Helmet Head Tank

note:
The final test failed. During Party Popper Face the candidate here was protected with swim goggles and ear plugs.


episode 9

MTV description:
Tongue Obstacle Course | Two Sand Bag Bulldog Clip Rip | Dual Vacum Nipple Suck | Pressuris

The great wise Zen master is back again to give another lesson in Eastern philosophical wisdom with such ancient techniques as the 'dual nipple suck' and 'pressurised bottom rocket'. Enjoy!

location:
art gallery

origin:
Kingdom of Hertfordshire

team:
- Carlie-San alias Post Op
- Adam S-San alias Pre Op
- Adam R-San alias Green Bud
- Emile-San alias The Tantrum
- Dan-San alias Hot Pants

tasks:
- Tongue Obstacle Course
- 2 Sand Bag Bulldog Clip Rip ( =>wounds bleed)
- Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck
- Pressurized Bottom Bottle Rocket
- 4 Flipper Spank
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 45s Burp Breath
- 45s Gimp Suit Burst (black suit)
- Electric Teapot
- Serpent Snatch - passing balls by mouth

extremely nasty:
Flipper Spank

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 45s black

note:
The final test failed. This episode the first time included a (quota-?) woman as a candidate. The "Harness of Keemosan" was attached to her nipples instead of the "serpent". The candidates threw the lot balls at each other for fun; it showed up that these are of lightweight hollow plastic and not billiard balls.

words of the Zen master:
(after Bulldog Clip Rip) "Bulldog clips were often used by ancient torturers - eh to hold their nuts while they torture people." (after Gimp Suit Burst) "Ha ha ha - I don't know how doing that makes you a Zen master, but it sure is funny to watch."

[CYBERYOGI =CO= Windler]

episode 10

MTV description:
Thirty Second Burp Breath | Two Cactus Cannon | Thirty Rubber Band Face Twang | Eight Slap Fish Face | Lard Ice Cream Co

Ever eaten a lard ice cream cone? how about inhaling nothing but pure burp breath for 30seconds? No, well these guys have. Welcome to the world of Fist Of Zen.

location:
library

origin:
Realm of Kingston

team:
- Olu-San alias Beef Dumpling
- Jason-San alias Angel Delight
- Michael-San alias Beat-Box Lover
- David-San alias Boogie Nights
- Wola-San alias Spandex Ranger

tasks:
- 30s Burp Breath
- 2 Cactus Cannon
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- 8 Slap Fish Face
- Lard Ice Cream Cone

- 20s Wedgie Winch
- Electric Star Draw (on glass pane)
- Mini Cowboy Lego Rodeo
- Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch (string at hardhat funnel)

extremely nasty:
Cactus Cannon (many pricks in the body!!!)

brain damaging:
Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack

note:
All candidates were black - possibly a hiphop band (one had the nickname "Beat-Box Lover").


episode 11

MTV description:
Bare Chest Braces Snap | Forty Five Second Electric Tea pot | Twenty Sandpaperr Towel Rub | Full Plate Wasabi Crackers | Twenty Trampoline Hai

The Zen Master returns with another batch of weary westerners to maime and humiliate with outrageous challenges. This is the Fist Of Zen!

location:
retirement home

origin:
Kingdom of Peterborough

team:
- Greg-San alias The Don
- Matt-San alias Baby Face
- Mike-San alias Crazy Legs
- Lee-San alias Milk Tray
- Hayden-San alias The Mullet

tasks:
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 45s Electric Tea Pot
- 20 Sandpaper Towel Rub (sandpaper strips in towel, body was sprayed wet)
- Full Plate Wasabi Crackers
- 20 Trampoline Hair-Pull (trampoline with duct tape on a canopy above)
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch (denture tea)
- Pressurized Bottom Bottle Rocket
- 20s Face Car-Wash
- 45s Gimp Suit Burst (black suit)
- Serpent Snatch - ball catch (string at hardhat funnel)

extremely nasty:
20 Sandpaper Towel Rub

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 45s black


episode 12

MTV description:
Thirty Second Onion Glasses | Five Flavour Stink Box | Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck | Electrically Charged Baby | Three Bread Loaf Catapult | Thirty Rubber Band Face Twang | Five Wasabi So

Come see some more of the Zen Master's silent rituals of pain and humilation on the Fist Of Zen.

location:
church

origin:
Queendom of Brighton

team:
- Will-San alias Goat Boy
- Simon-San alias She Eagle
- Jamie B-San alias Repeat Offender
- Luke-San alias Jelly Tot
- Jamie W-San alias Slow Dance

tasks:
- 30s Onion Glasses
- 5 Flavour Stink Box
- Dual Vacuum Nipple Suck
- Electrically Charged Baby
- 3 Bread Loaf Catapult (at neck, belly)
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- 5 Wasabi Soldiers
- 4 Balloon Burst Pants
- 4 Flipper Spank
- Serpent Snatch - eggs juggling (with chopsticks into eggcups)

extremely nasty:
5 Flavour Stink Box, Flipper Spank ( =>weals on butt)

substances:
5 Flavour Stink Box = {dirty nappy, rancid cheese, stinky socks, putrid kippers, rotten meat}

note:
Apparently the German speaker was changed. During 4 Balloon Burst Pants a red balloon slipped out of the pants and apparently was not put back =>apparently only a yellow and blue balloon did burst. In 5 Wasabi Soldiers the candidate hesitated unusually long after the first bit before he cancelled.

words of the Zen master:
(after Stink Box): "Congratulation Simon-San. You did well to resist tucking into those tasty delicatessens. I can never resist a nappy - the trouser chocolate is quite delicious."


episode 13

MTV description:
Two Door Thigh Whack | Forty Five Second Electric Fishing Rod | False Teeth Liquid Lunch |

It's another round of Fist Of Zen madness with some more weary westerners having their dignities shredded by games like: 'False Teeth Liquid Lunch' and the 'Bare Chest Braces Snap'. Enjoy!

location:
retirement home

origin:
Kingdom of Lincolnshire

team:
- Tom-San alias Wild Cat
- Alex-San alias Artist formerly known as Prince Harry
- Matt-San alias Gothika
- Jonny-San alias Hearthbreaker
- Thomas-San alias The Pig Farmer

tasks:
- 2 Door Thigh Whack
- 45s Electric Fishing Rod (pink rubber ducks)
- False Teeth Liquid Lunch
- 30 Rubber Band Face Twang
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- 3 Bread Loaf Catapult (into face)
- 3 Cuts And A Dunk
- Two Legs Wax Winch (carpet adhesive tape depilation)
- Serpent Snatch - passing ping-pong balls by mouth

extremely nasty:
3 Cuts And A Dunk

brain damaging:
Bread Loaf Catapult

substances:
3 Cuts And A Dunk = {Aftershave, Salt, Vinegar, Lemon Juice}

note:
The ball count during the final challenge was cheated.


episode 14

MTV description:
Thirty Second Electric Tea-set | Tramp Pasta Kiss | Eight Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss | Bare Chest Braces Snap | Thirty Second Burp Breath | Sixty Second Gimp Suit B

It's time for another load of pain, humiliation and gross out hilarity that you could only expect from the: Fist Of Zen.

location:
church

origin:
Distant region of Kent

team:
- Babs-San alias Prince Charming
- David-San alias Chic Geek
- Sam-San alias Absinthe Hero
- Thomas-San alias Hairless Wonder
- Huggy-San alias Super Size Yeti

tasks:
- 30s Electric Tea-set
- Tramp Pasta Kiss (eating a long noodle mouth to mouth)
- 8 Sandpaper Eskimo Kiss
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- 30s Burp Breath
- 60s Gimp Suit Burst (black suit)
- 8 Scalextric Face Crash
- 30s Rancid Milk Syringe
- 4 Flipper Spank
- Serpent Snatch - eggs juggling (with chopsticks into eggcups)

extremely nasty:
4 Flipper Spank

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 60s (Despite 60s the suit stretched less than in episode ?2. The black underpants were possibly of latex.)

words of the Zen master:
(after Gimp Suit Burst) "When I first set the challenge, we didn't use a suit - we just inflated the skin..."

note:
German narrator seems to be different (more aggressive/ theatric voice).


episode 15

MTV description:
Bare Chest Braces Snap | Full Body Sandpaper Frisk | Full Plate Wasabi Crackers | Three Cuts and a Dunk | Eight Slap Fish Face | Tw

The Zen master has a few more hilarious challenges up his sleeves including: 'Thirty Second Onion Glasses' a 'Full Body Sandpaper Frisk' and more...

location:
museum

origin:
Far away land of Surrey

team:
- Matt-San alias Gut Rocket
- Ashley-San alias Walks With Pigs
- Dom-San alias Man Of Stilts
- Dan-San alias Kebab-Legs
- Garry-San alias Tassle Boy

tasks:
- Bare Chest Braces Snap
- Full Body Sandpaper Frisk
- Full Plate Wasabi Crackers
- 3 Cuts And A Dunk
- Eight Slap Fish Face
- 2 Door Thigh Whack
- Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack
- 30s Burp Breath
- Gum Shield Rubber Band Face Twang
- Serpent Snatch - passing balls

extremely nasty:
3 Cuts And A Dunk

brain damaging:
Tooth Pick Book Shelf Stack

substances:
3 Cuts And A Dunk = {lemon juice, salt, aftershave}

note:
The ball count during the final challenge was cheated.


episode 17

MTV description:
Lard Ice Cream Cone | Door Slam Bulldog Clip Rip | Thirty Second Lego Wrestle | Eight Scalextric Face Crash | Two Door Thigh Thwack | Bare Braces Chest Snap | Electrically Charged Baby | Gum-Shield Rubber Band T

Welcome to another dose of pure unadulterated Fist of Zen madness...

location:
museum

origin:
Kingdom of Derbyshire

team:
- Paul-San alias The Snake
- Brett-San alias Try Hard
- Marc-San alias Mug Shot
- Adam-San alias Hulk
- Shane-San alias Mutant Turtle

tasks:
- Lard Ice Cream Cone
- Door Slam Bulldog Clip Rip
- 30s Lego Wrestle
- 8 Scalextric Face Crash
- 2 Door Thigh Thwack
- Bare Braces Chest Snap
- Electrically Charged Baby
- Gum-Shield Rubber Band Twang
- 45s Gimp Suit Burst (black suit)
- Serpent Snatch - lemon chain

mentally disturbing:
Gimp Suit Burst 45s black

words of the Zen master:
"All you need to be a real city boy is a pin stripe suit with real pins. I heart the 80th...". However this text came before the Electrically Charged Baby instead of Gimp Suit Burst.

note:
During Gimp Suit Burst the adhesive tape at the neck loosened during inflation, however one scene later it was fixed again. Apparently the film was cut together. Initially the suit was quite shiny; possibly there was silicone oil on it, which prevented the adhesive tape from sticking properly. During the final challenge one candidate had a square white gauze patch on his right nipple (due to Bulldog Clip Rip?).